i'm sharing this with you, not so you feel sorry for me, but so you get a better truer picture of what daily classroom life is like for public school teachers. every year the severely emotionally disturbed population grows. more and more children are placed in regular ed classrooms that don't belong. here is a letter i received from my sub a couple of weeks ago.
this is NOT the student that left last week for a new, more appropriate placement in a classroom for severely emotionally disturbed students.
this is one of the other 3 problem children that are left in my charge.
last week this student attacked me when i didn't draw his name in our weekly prize drawing. students get tickets for positive behavior and work habits at the end of each day. they go into a box and i draw 2-3 names every other week. this young man flew into an absolute rage when his name wasn't drawn at the end of the day. he began screaming and stomping his feet, throwing things at his deskmate and in general having a complete meltdown. then he started pushing, punching, kicking, and spitting on me. yep. all true. my room partner (teacher next door) had to help me restrain him without getting bit or kicked herself. the strength of one of these children is phenomenal. between the 2 of us we could not get him to the office. he was absolutely rabid. i was doing my best to avoid having him kick my trick knee. finally a campus aide meandered over and managed to get him restrained and into the office. oy. vey.
fortunately the other 2 problem children are not physically aggressive towards me or the other students. unfortunately the hissing spitting child will probably be with us all year long. terrorizing, attacking, striking out at whoever has the misfortune of crossing his path at the wrong time.
frankly, i'm exhausted.
{i meant the following to be a response to a comment and to post it in the comments! but it got too long...}
yes, domenico thank you for that kind insight.
i read the sub letter and my initial reaction was whaaaa????? but then after i was attacked by this boy last week, i, being the big strong brave teacher that i am started to boo hoo. i had a complete emotional RELEASE. in front of .... people! horror of horrors! fortunately i managed to hold it together long enough to walk to the office and i had sunglasses on, but when something like this happens it really does sort of mentally incapacitate a person. so i think poor mr. g. was so shaken and upset he was not thinking clearly. also - yes. some subs are just plain BAD. but that's another post. for another day. not really the focus of this one. ya know?
i was already documenting every single incident with this child (and the others). i have met with the school psychologist and principal and they both tell me all we can do is document everything. my principal tells me that the school police will not even respond to this because of the student's age. i do not know if this is true. they both tell me the child cannot be suspended because of his "medical" condition. it does not make sense to me either - none of it. i was so sure that an incident of this severity and magnitude would warrant at least a suspension. no. i am sure that in other parts of the city and country it would result in suspension, but not where i teach. i am consulting the union.
mostly i feel so sorry for the other sweet children in my class who are responsible, respectful, polite, and kind. believe it or not the child who exploded and attacked me has all of those characteristics too! he really really does. but something in him just snaps sometimes and he turns into a different child. his first grade teacher warned me about him and honestly i could not imagine him acting this way. the first 2 months of school he was a role model student. but now his switch is being flipped almost daily. i think in the proper environment he could be taught some cognitive behavior therapy to learn to channel his anger and frustration. that environment is not my classroom. my job is to diffuse the bomb before it explodes
academically he is close to grade level. i have been told by the psychologist that unless his behavior is impacting his classwork he will never qualify for any kind of special education placement (emotional disturbance). if you are shocked by this know that i am too! it does not make sense. unfortunately public schools seem to go overboard in protecting the rights of the (problematic) individual instead of tending to the greater FLOCK. the protection goes towards the one who is violating the rights of all others. so the flock is not really & truly entitled to a safe environment to work and play and learn.
in fact i am probably violating his rights by writing this even though i am not mentioning his name, the name of the school, or the name of the district in which i work. which is why in a couple of weeks time i will be deleting this entire post.
i believe that i work in a dysfunctional school in a broken down dysfunctional school district. but i do believe there are other schools in my district that operate with a higher degree of integrity, responsibility, and devotion to the flock. in fact i KNOW there are. and the thing is some of them also operate in the inner city, some of them serve the same population of students as the ones i work with now. i hope to transfer to such a school next year. barring a stroke, heart attack, or knee blow-out.
THANK YOU. your kindness and concern are a balm. more than you'll ever ever ever know.
xo
